That would have been good to know a year ago, or would it?

Its official, it might come as a surprise to some (including me), and no surprise at all to others, but at least now I know….. What am I talking about? A simple but significant understanding.

I am an introvert.

For some time over here I have been wondering about why I felt the way I did in some situations. I have been wondering why I acted and reacted the way I did to and in those situations. I have been wondering why I am so tired a lot of the time.
A good friend of mine back in Australia emailed me and offered the concept that perhaps I was an introvert and now that I was out of ‘my’ basement I was exerting a lot of energy coping with a vastly different pace and style of life.
His advice really came out of the blue for me. I had heard the terms introvert and extrovert before, but had never thought about putting myself in one camp or the other. Let alone wonder if it mattered which camp I was in!
I did some reading and it was like my eyes had been opened for the first time. Here I was reading about things that I had always known, but wondered about and in some cases I was reading about my exact ‘struggles’ here in the States. It was enlightening, remarkable and exciting all at once.
I spoke about it with another person here, and he suggested that I find out for sure what camp I was in. The method he suggested was for me to take what’s called the ‘Myers-Briggs’ test. There are some on the web, but the ones worth taking are only conducted by a psychologist. So that’s what I did I put my money where my brain should have been and the family and I went and spent 2 hours taking the test and going over the results.

Thus, its official, out of the 4 BRATS, I am the biggest (or is that smallest?) introvert.

We all are a little introvert more so than extrovert, but I managed to score a big fat ZERO on the extrovert scale. Freddy and the kids did a little better…..

Point is, I am going to do some more reading and talking with different people, but already it has helped. In the past I wondered if there was anything wrong with me when I was in a room full of strangers and there is lots of noise and lights and I was just ‘screaming’ inside for it to all stop. Now I know that nothing is ‘wrong’ with me, its just too much stimulation for me.
I am tired at the end of a days training or tour guiding because I have to really put a lot of energy into standing up in front of 9 or more strangers and talk to them.
I don’t have a lot of friends because my tendency is to have a few really deep friends. I find it hard to meet new people and straight away have a good conversation; it takes a lot of time for me to warm up to them.
I enjoy having lunch with Freddy in the car because I can rest a little and recharge in the quiet for the afternoon. A solo ride on my bike is another way that I can recharge. A party with a group of friends is just the opposite; it really drains me.

Anyway, that’s just some examples. It really has helped me understand why my past years journey from basement to Application Engineer has not been totally smooth saling.

For what its worth, to those that it means something, my personality type is ‘ISTJ’.