Transform my money and time.

According to Netflix we have watched around 170 movies in about 6 months….. Some of you have noted that the movie reviews section of this blog have dried up… yeah, I was not sure that you all would ‘enjoy’ or ‘endure’ that many reviews.
There is one exception, Transformers 2.
But, before I say anything about that, let me say this….. the guys and girls at work are all movie fans / buffs. We talk movies on and off at times usually 2-3 times a week one way or another. I am getting a bit of a reputation for enjoying off the wall movies, you know, not your typical Hollywood puppy mill stuff…. I am trying not to become a snob about anything I watch, but now and then there are exceptions. Yesterday was one of them.

We (B.R.A.T) all enjoyed Transformers 1. We own it on DVD, indeed, we watched it a few days ago knowing that we would be going to the movies some time over the July 4th long weekend. That’s how much we like it. Enough to own it and watch it often.

Sadly, it seems that they fell into the trap of thinking if a little is good, then a LOT more has to be a LOT better.
Sadly no. It was garbage. From the opening scene to the end. No laughs, very little engagement, just explosions, crass ‘jokes’ and lame exploitation of the lead’s breasts and butt. A kids movie it is not. How in the world did it get a PG13 rating?
Many a time there were great chunks of time were there was no dialog due to the explosions. Just one after the other after the other.
Throwing more robots at us also is not the answer. Throwing bigger robots at us is not the answer. It just gets boring. There is only so much you can take of something that has no personality or changes its mood constantly.
Did we really need to see the guys butt with a G-String wedged up it? Did we really need to see the girls panties with the robot tail? Did we need to see the girl with the robot tongue? Did we need the ‘joke’ of the robot humping the girls leg? Did we really need the shot of the two dogs humping? Did we need to have it twice? Can a person really fall 300 feet onto concrete and get up running? Did we really need the scene with the mom eating hash cookies? Have we not learned that the kissing scene with the setting sun has been done to death? Oh, and when CPR fails, just get the girl to lean over the dead guy and whisper that she loves him, guaranteed way to bring him back from the dead…. Paleezzz…..

Its one of the few movies I have seen in the past year that I have genuinely felt robed of both my time and money.
My advice if you are thinking of going to see it……. wait till its on TV, the ads will help break the boredom.

0.5 out of five stars.