Note. It’s kind of hard to write this stuff without giving anything away.
If you think you want to see a movie I list, don’t read my blurb. Ok?
Alright then, this one would have slipped under our radar had it not been for a few kids at Terry’s school.
Not having TV and only reading news sites each day means that only the really big movies make our radar…
So, anyway, the guys tipped off Terry and we looked on YouTube and it looked pretty good.
A tad ‘childish’ for me, but Terry was all ‘Dad, it’s got chicks, swords and dragons, what’s not to like?’
I took his point, and honestly, it seemed to have enough action in it to keep me amused, besides, it was PG13, it can’t be a bad bet. So we headed off on Sunday to do the whole, father and son movie thing.
Yeah, well, it all turned pear shaped in the first few minutes….. Shot in dark and gritty visuals with a pounding sound track you are right there in the action… The lead character (we presume) is a pretty girl around 20 (but looks around 17), grieving over her just dead mothers body, her evil step-father is already making moves on her and her sister. She climbs out of the window of her evil stepdad locked bedroom (while he lines up to have his way with her sister), gets a gun and tries to shoot him, but ends up shooting her beloved sister. The step-dad gets her committed (with the help of chunk of money, so you know it’s all a bad thing) to the dark and filthy mental institution for woman.
All this in the first 5 minutes. It’s downhill from there, just in case you don’t think things are bad enough.
Our young girl starts to do two things; 1. Think that she’s really in a brothel and 2. Part of her ‘rehab’ is dance lessons. She finds that when she dances, she enters a fantasy world where the characters are people from the institution and she can interact with them in the real world without them knowing.
Messed up much? It gets better (or is that weirder… not sure)…. She’s told by her fantasy land guide that she has to collect 5 items, a map, a knife, a fire, a key and the last is a mystery. She is given a samurai sword and 9mm Glock to help her on her way…..
Ok, so this ‘review’ is taking way too long for me to type, let alone you to read this……
Long review long, each time she ‘dances’ she meets up with different scenarios. Sure the dragon was one of them (and ok, it was some of THE best CGI fire I have ever seen (from the same guy that shot 300, so it was to be expected)), and if that was that, we might be Ok, but sadly she also meets up with some 18 foot tall Chinese demons, WW2 steam powered Nazi zombie’s, a bunch of un-dead something’s and the rest of the whore house…… PG13…. Yeah right.
Enough to say the ending was not very cheery at all either. Like really brutal and sickening.
Sucker Punch. I’m sure it’s going to be released on BluRay. Give it a miss and DO NOT let you less than 17 year old see it!!
